It is almost tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my son's 12th birthday and as we sit on the edge of his becoming a teen I am trying to figure out this new roll. As nice as it would be for things to stay the same, I do understand the need to become a man and do more with his dad and less with me. However, he has always been my little man and thus makes it a little more of a stab in this moms heart. I have never been a mom to a boy before or since so this has been all new every step of the way.

The day Alex was born was a beautiful one, aside from my husband looking into my eyes (knowing all the messed up pregnancy dreams I had had) and said, "Look honey, you had a lizard!" My boy was a big baby weighing in at 9 lbs and 14 ozs and 22.75 inches long. But I didn't see any of that, all I could see was this beautiful baby with the bluest and biggest eyes I had ever seen. The nurses were all talking about how it looked like he was actually taking it all in, not to mention he was holding his head up in the delivery room! So we named him with a name that may be a blessing, it may be a curse, but Alexander Nicodemus Merseal he has become. So on this day, I vow to try to be the best I can for him to turn a great young man into the world. Happy Birthday. I have loved you since before I could see you, and love you more each day since.

What have I done?

Okay, so my friend Terri was here the other night and very innocently said something to the effect that I was a good knitter because I only do one project at a time... This caused me to look at my toes... I guess I have every one fooled! So I will air openly what I have on the needles right now...

First there is Shipwreck, I am doing this in a beautiful Mountain Colors Winter Lace, color Crazy Woman. Kind of at a stand still as I need beads.

Second, I have the awesome Sunbells socks and am almost halfway done with the second sock!

Then there is Painted Elly, which I am doing in Jojoland Melody. This is cool looking but I am dragging my feet because I am not sure if it will be long enough... sigh...

Then there is a pair of argyle socks which need my love badly... that makes four...

and the Elizabeth Zimmerman sweater that my brain and body can't agree on...that's 5....

which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't want to cast on for the Vernal Equinox right now! Oh well. Now I have admitted guilt... I feel better.

Tomorrow

So, tomorrow is Hannah's 13th birthday. Aside from the fact that I don't feel old enough to have a teenage daughter, the day always makes me think of a different time. Hannah was 2.5 weeks late, and I didn't know any better and didn't question my doctors opinion of letting me go a little longer. I lost 27 lbs. when I was pregnant with her as morning sickness was morning, noon and night. The day before she was born I cleaned out the kitchen cupboards and packed up the things we would not need because we were also getting ready to move, and for dinner I decided to make pizza. After dinner I remember not feeling so well so I laid down on the couch and fell asleep. Some time around midnight I woke up feeling the wave that is nausea and ran to the bathroom. As I sat on the edge of the tub for the millionth time in the last 9 months, I became aware that I had a terrible backache. So I thought maybe a shower would help.... I bounced back and forth between the nausea and the pain for another hour before I decided to wake Keith up. I was getting scared because the pain felt like someone jabbing me with a knife.

Well he got up and watched me for a few and decided it was time to call the doctors office. The nurse actually laughed at us when we said that my back pains were happening about every 5 minutes. Looking back I know now that I was having back labor, but really nothing I had read prepared me for this!

So, after they decided that I better get to the hospital, Keith called our friend Jasper for a ride. See being poor college students we had no car. So at 3 am. after I had scooted down the stairs on my bum, Jasper roared up in the "bumblebee" truck and took us on a high speed trip down the highway. We got to the hospital and the emergency enterance was locked...really. So, I had to walk around to another door.

Once we got to the hospital things started to blur together. At first they didn't know whether I was in real labor or not (hour 4 folks) and then they decided to give me demerol (which I found out I was allergic to). I don't remember much between then and the actual delivery room, except my husband pacing. They kept coming in the room and watching the monitors and making notes, they acted worried but didn't tell us anything was wrong. At some point a nurse went to leave the room and looking over her shoulder says, "if the baby comes before I get back remember to support the head" I don't know much but, probably a couple with their first baby on the way, completely scared as we were, she should have been a little understanding.

Finally they told me they wanted me to give them a trial push. The next thing I know the doctor is standing there telling me to stop while she got her gown on the rest of the way! A couple of pushes later Hannah was born at 11:35 am. I thought then and I know now that everything that followed was not normal for a healthy baby. I wasn't allowed to touch her even, she was blue, she had her cord around her neck twice, and she was limp. No crying. except for my tears there were none. The immediately gave her oxygen, started rubbing her, and within seconds she started to fuss. The whole room let a sigh of relief. I touched her for just a second, not registering the words the nurse was saying about lack of oxygen, limp, observation. Then the focus turned back to me... I couldn't stop my teeth from chattering, my temp was up to 104.5 and my blood pressure fell so low they were having issues finding it. Why? We still don't know, could be the reaction to Demerol, the stress, anything.

It was 7 that night before I was even allowed near her again, I had a mask on, and she had all kinds of tubes hooked up to her. We found out later that she had hypoglycemia (still does) and had broken her collar bone. She spent the first 6 days of her life in neonatal and the first morning she woke up at home was Mothers Day.

Today, she is a healthy, smart, funny, young lady. I love her to pieces and some day I hope she realizes the scares that she gave us her very first week. So, Happy Birthday Hannah. 13 times around the sun, something once we didn't think you would get to. I love you.

Okay who stole my time?

Appalled am I that it has been 2 years since I even tried to sit and write. So much has happened and yet so much is still the same.
We are still in St. Louis (although the day can be seen where that might not be the case), Keith and I are still going to school (Keith graduates in a couple of weeks!), the kids continue to grow faster than I can keep up.
In the time since I wrote I have finished a bunch of projects ranging from hats, shawls, socks, mittens. At the moment I have way more projects on the needles than neccessary. I will work on posting new pictures I promise.
So before I leave anyone who might see this I promise I will be back, I feel a recipe coming on again!

Only a few more weeks

I am insanely happy about the semester almost being over. The very thought of being able to do whatever I need and want to for even three weeks while DH and kiddos finish up the semester makes me so happy!!! I have felt like I am running with no hope of catching up in the near future this term. I think between me getting sick(which is fairly rare) and taking a couple of classes which are project based, just too much.
Meanwhile tomorrows goal is to get pictures of Oblique online and show everyone how it is going. This weekend we (DH and I) are escaping to go hang out with a couple of our friends at Camp Zoe for a weekend of song and dance! Jerry Garcia band and the Swag! I am excited and hopefully this will ground me a little. As a former music major I find even in this life of nutrition that I need the musical escape every now and then to just relax. I hope we have good weather it sounds though like we will get rain on Friday... Cross your fingers. See you all soon!

Too long

I apologize for taking so long to blog again. No real excuse just life, I guess. I have been knitting like a crazy person... I have a couple of people to picture still of various projects but I promise I will do that soon. Here is one picture of Hannah trying on her brothers Christmas socks. And another of Lucky kitty smiling as he cuddles with my very own beautiful sock.... I have never known a cat to smile as much as he does.

School continues...I have a little more than 11 hours left! Scary and then I get to start doing Dietetic work. Excited however nervous it has been 11 years since I have had a full time job. Being a mom has been more a top item but the kids keep on growing. It must be the good and Yum-o food like the Buffalo Chili from Rachael Ray. The kids love trying new foods so at least one night a week I try to fix something completely different. No one can ever say that the food is boring in this house.

Right now I am working on a sweater with Cascade yarn that my wonderful, understanding friend Deb gave me for my birthday. I am making Oblique from Knitty. Isn't it beautiful? For anyone who doesn't know me I am a rather busty girl and find it hard to find sweaters that will fit without major alterations. This is my first attempt to knit a grownup sweater. I am excited! I will try to get some pictures of it soon. I am off to do some much needed home and housework.

Time...

In the last few months time has slipped away...A month ago my mother in law had to make the terrible decision to put Pookie to sleep. It was horrible. She got very sick very fast. Pookie had been with Lin and Keith for 18 years...Long time. We all miss her yowling when she did not get her way. The picture above shows one of the other tragiedies of the year... We still think Zeke is going to wander into the room with his funky strut. On the right you can see what I did at the start of October. Turned out pretty well. First paying gig and for a wedding! Okay so that isn't quite true...LONG STORY! The semester is almost over and I feel good about this semester so far. Hope the next two weeks go smoothly. So many things have happened recently it all seems a blur. One friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer in June has almost finished chemo! One more treatment. Meanwhile another friend is in my thoughts while she just tries to deal with the sheer weight of her news. My thoughts are with her always. I will be glad to be on the other side of Christmas as I always end up missing my family. I have so many it feels strange to only have us.(Okay so that is 6). But my mom has 10 brothers and sisters...And I am one of 9. So you can see a pretty HUGE family just there... Time keeps coming and time keeps going and so it will continue... Do we ever feel caught up? I haven't yet. Most of the time I feel good about it but just for a moment I would love to freeze the kids and enjoy them just this moment. I have been knitting lately and will try to get pictures of my sock on here soon. And maybe I will have a Christmas present picture too!

Peace to you and yours,

Sarah